Okay, so, “how to let go of expectations” – that’s been a big one for me lately. It’s like, I used to have all these ideas in my head about how things should be, you know? How my day should go, how people should act, even how I should feel. And honestly? It was exhausting. I started out trying to figure this out because I was just so tired of being disappointed all the time.
I decided to actually try to change things. No more just wishing things were different. I figured the best way to start was to just notice. Notice when I was feeling bummed out because something didn’t go my way. That was step one. Like, if I expected a chill Saturday, and then my friend canceled our plans, I’d catch myself getting all negative. I noticed that feeling and just kind of sat with it, no judgment, just “huh, interesting, I’m feeling disappointed because I had this expectation.” It was tough at first, but I got better at it.
- First, I wrote down all these expectations I had. Stuff like, “I expect my boss to recognize my hard work” or “I expect my partner to always be in a good mood.”
- Then, I really looked at those expectations. Like, were they even realistic? Most of the time, not so much.
- So I started to reframe them. Instead of “I expect my boss to recognize my hard work,” it became “I will do my best work, and if my boss recognizes it, great. If not, I know I did my best.”
It wasn’t about lowering my standards, but more about being okay with different outcomes. I had to be real with myself, I focused on what I could actually control, which is basically just my own actions and reactions.
One thing I did was to stop saying “yes” to everything. Man, that was hard! I always wanted to please everyone, but I realized that was just another expectation trap. I started saying “no” to things that didn’t truly align with what I wanted or needed. It was awkward at first, but it got easier.
I also started focusing on personal growth rather than perfection. I used to have these crazy high expectations of myself. Like, “I need to be the best at everything.” But that’s just impossible! Now, I just try to be a little better than I was yesterday. And you know what? It’s way more fulfilling. I celebrate the small wins. Finished a workout? Awesome! Learned something new? Cool! It’s the little things that add up.
And honestly, the biggest thing was just being kind to myself. I used to beat myself up whenever I didn’t meet my own expectations. Now, I treat myself like I would treat a friend. With compassion and understanding. It’s a process, you know? There are still days when I slip back into old patterns, but now I can catch myself and gently guide myself back to a more realistic and compassionate mindset.
Letting go of expectations, for me, has been about accepting that life is unpredictable and that’s okay. It’s about focusing on what I can control, being kind to myself, and celebrating the journey. It’s not perfect, but it’s definitely a lot more peaceful. And I am happier now. Not always happy, but like, genuinely content, you know? And that’s huge.
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