Well, let me tell ya, relationships, they ain’t always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes, it’s more like a cloudy day with a whole lotta thunder, you know? And a lot of times, that thunder comes from bad talkin’ to each other, or what them smart folks call “bad communication.” I ain’t no fancy expert, but I’ve seen my fair share of folks messin’ things up with their words.
One big problem is always tryin’ to be right. You know, like one person gotta win every single time. “I’m right, you’re wrong!” That ain’t no way to talk to someone you care about. It’s like, why can’t you just listen for once? If you or your partner is always tryin’ to be the boss, that’s a bad sign, real bad.
- Always gotta be right
- Never listenin’ to the other person
- Thinkin’ you’re better than them
Another thing is, sometimes folks just don’t talk at all. They clam up, like a turtle hidin’ in its shell. Maybe they’re scared, maybe they’re angry, maybe they just don’t care enough to try. But whatever the reason, not talkin’ is just as bad as yellin’ and screamin’. You gotta let your feelings out, or they’ll just build up and explode later. It’s like a pot of boilin’ water, if you don’t let the steam out, it’ll blow the lid right off.
And don’t even get me started on all this newfangled technology. These young folks, always tappin’ away on their phones. Textin’ is fine and dandy for some things, but it ain’t no way to have a real conversation. You can’t hear someone’s voice, you can’t see their face. How you gonna know how they really feelin’ if you just lookin’ at words on a screen? It’s like tryin’ to bake a cake without no flour, it just ain’t gonna work.
Now, how do you know if your talkin’ is bad? Well, there’s a few things to look out for. First off, if you ain’t feelin’ close to your partner, like somethin’s missin’, that’s a big red flag. It’s like you’re livin’ in the same house but you’re miles apart. You used to share everything, and now you barely look each other in the eyes. That ain’t right, that ain’t how it should be.
Another thing is, if you’re always fightin’ and arguin’, that’s a bad sign too. I ain’t sayin’ you gotta agree on everything, but if every little thing turns into a big blow-up, somethin’ ain’t right. And it ain’t just about the big fights neither. Sometimes it’s the little things, like when you start blamin’ each other or gettin’ all defensive. “It’s your fault!” “No, it’s your fault!” That kind of talk just makes things worse.
And then there’s the silent treatment, or what them smart folks call “withdrawal and avoidance.” That’s when someone just shuts down and refuses to talk. It’s like buildin’ a wall between you and your partner, brick by brick. You try to talk, they turn away. You try to reach out, they pull back. That’s no way to treat someone you love.
Some folks get all heated up real quick, that’s what they call “escalation.” Starts with a little disagreement and then boom! It’s a full-blown yelling match. Others, they just twist your words around, makin’ things sound worse than they are. That’s what I call “negative interpretations.” And then there’s “invalidation,” when you make your partner feel like their feelings don’t matter. “Oh, you’re just being dramatic,” or “That’s not a big deal.” Those words cut deep, let me tell ya.
So, what can you do if your talkin’ is bad? Well, the first thing is to admit there’s a problem. Can’t fix somethin’ if you don’t know it’s broke, right? And then you gotta start listenin’ to each other, really listenin’, not just waitin’ for your turn to talk. Try to see things from your partner’s point of view, even if you don’t agree with them. And most important, be kind to each other. Words can hurt, you know? They can cut deeper than any knife. So choose your words carefully, and always speak from the heart. It ain’t always easy, but if you wanna keep your relationship strong, you gotta put in the work. It’s like tendin’ a garden, you gotta water it, weed it, and give it lots of sunshine if you want it to grow.
Tags: [communication, relationship, conflict, listening, understanding, intimacy, emotions, arguments, avoidance, talking, connection]
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