Today, I wanna talk about something that’s been on my mind lately: expectations of others. It’s a tricky thing, isn’t it? We all have them, whether we realize it or not. And sometimes, they can really mess with our heads.
So, I started this little experiment a few weeks back. I decided to really pay attention to the expectations I had of the people around me. My family, my friends, my coworkers, even strangers on the street. It was kinda eye-opening, to say the least.
First step, writing it all down
- I grabbed a notebook and just started jotting down every time I caught myself thinking, “They should be doing this,” or “Why aren’t they doing that?” Stuff like, “My partner should know I need help without me asking,” or “My friend should have reached out more often when I was going through something tough.” All those should and shouldn’ts.
Second, questioning my beliefs
- This was the hard part. I took each expectation I’d written down and really grilled myself on it. Where did it come from? Was it realistic? Was it fair? Was it even about them, or was it more about me and my own insecurities? A lot of times, it was more about my problem than the others.
Third, self-reflecting
- Man, this was a real doozy. I had to take a long, hard look at myself and figure out why I needed other people to behave a certain way. Was I seeking validation? Was I afraid of being let down? Why did I always feel disappointed or appeared selfish? This part involved a lot of staring at the ceiling and some uncomfortable truths.
Fourth, setting boundaries
- This is where things got interesting. I started to think about what I actually needed from people and what I could realistically expect. And then, the scary part: I started talking to them about it. I talked with my loved ones. It wasn’t easy, and there were some awkward conversations, but it was worth it.
Finally, embracing flexibility
- This whole thing taught me that people are gonna do what they’re gonna do. They can not always make me disappointed. I can’t control them, and I shouldn’t try to. The best I can do is be clear about my own needs and boundaries, and then let them be who they are. It’s about finding that balance between holding on and letting go.
It’s still a work in progress, of course. I definitely don’t have all the answers. But I feel like I’m in a much better place now. Less resentful, less disappointed, and a lot more at peace with the people in my life. It also helped me to cultivate my voice and truth. Maybe this little experiment of mine can help some of you out there too. Give it a try, and let me know how it goes.
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