Alright, so you got yourself one of them fancy jade eggs, huh? Don’t rightly know why they call it that, looks like a rock to me. But folks say it does somethin’ good down there, so who am I to judge? Now, what in the tarnation do you do with it?
First off, make sure it’s clean, ya hear? Don’t want no dirt and grime gettin’ up in there. Wash it real good with some soap and water, like you would your hands after workin’ in the garden. Some folks boil it, too, just to be extra sure. Can’t hurt, I reckon.
Now, find yourself a comfy spot. Maybe lay down on your bed, or sit on the floor, whatever feels right. You gotta get this egg thingy inside you, ya know? Some say to squat, like you’re goin’ to the outhouse in the woods. But, honestly, do whatever works for you. Just try to relax, alright? Tense up like a scared cat, and nothin’ good’s gonna happen.
So, how do you work this egg thing? Well, that’s where it gets a bit tricky. See, the idea is to squeeze them muscles down there, the ones you use when you gotta hold it in real bad. You know, like when you’re laughin’ so hard you think you might pee your pants? Yeah, them muscles.
Squeeze them muscles tight, hold it for a bit, then let go. That’s it. Sounds simple, but it ain’t always easy. Takes some practice, just like learnin’ to churn butter or milkin’ a cow. Start slow, don’t go tryin’ to be a hero right off the bat. Do a few squeezes, then rest a spell. You can work your way up to doin’ it longer, like you’re buildin’ up your strength for haulin’ hay bales.
- Squeeze tight, hold for a count of ten, then let go for a count of ten. Do that a few times.
- If you’re new to this, don’t go crazy. Start with a few minutes, then work your way up to maybe fifteen minutes. No need to rush things.
- Listen to your body. If it hurts, stop. This ain’t supposed to be torture. It’s supposed to make you feel strong and good, they say.
Now, some folks say this egg thing can fix all sorts of problems. Make you feel better, make things work better down there, that sort of thing. I don’t know about all that. Seems like a lot of hoopla to me. But hey, if it makes you feel good, more power to ya. Just be careful, alright? Don’t go gettin’ that thing stuck, or doin’ somethin’ that hurts yourself. And for goodness sake, keep it clean!
And another thing, don’t go believin’ everything you hear. Some folks, they’ll try to sell you snake oil and tell you it’s the cure for everything. Just use your common sense, ya hear? If somethin’ sounds too good to be true, it probably is. There ain’t no magic bullet, not for nothin’. You gotta work for it, same as anything else.
This here egg thing, maybe it works, maybe it don’t. But if you’re gonna try it, do it safe and smart. And don’t expect miracles. Life ain’t that easy, no matter what them city slickers try to tell ya. You gotta take care of yourself, body and soul. That’s the real secret, if you ask me.
So, to sum it up, keep it clean, start slow, listen to your body, and don’t believe everything you hear. That’s good advice for just about anything in life, not just this here egg thing. Now, go on and do what you gotta do. And don’t forget to eat your vegetables!
And one last thing, if you start feelin’ poorly or somethin’ ain’t right, go see a doctor. Don’t be stubborn and try to fix it yourself. Doctors, they know a thing or two about the body, even if they don’t know much about farmin’ or fixin’ fences. Better safe than sorry, I always say.
Tags: [Jade Egg, Workout, Pelvic Floor, Exercise, Health, Wellness, Women’s Health]
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