Man, marriage, it’s a wild ride, right? You think you know someone, and then boom, you’re living together, and it’s like, who is this person? Lately, I’ve been feeling like my spouse just doesn’t respect me, and let me tell you, it’s been a real struggle. I mean, we all have our moments, but this has been going on for a while, and I finally decided I needed to do something about it.
First thing I did was try to take a step back. You know, like when you’re in the heat of the moment, everything feels like a personal attack? So, I started taking “time outs.” When things got heated, I’d just say, “Hey, I need a minute,” and I’d go for a walk or just chill in another room. It wasn’t easy, but it helped me calm down and not react impulsively.
Then, I realized I needed to be clear about what was really bothering me. I sat down and thought about the things my spouse was doing that made me feel disrespected. It wasn’t just the big things, but also the little things, like constantly interrupting me or dismissing my opinions. I made a list of these “deal breakers” – the things that I just couldn’t tolerate anymore.
- Constant interruptions when I’m speaking.
- Dismissing my opinions or feelings.
- Making decisions without consulting me.
- Speaking to me in a condescending tone.
Next, I tried to start a conversation about it. It was tough, not gonna lie. I picked a time when we were both relatively relaxed, and I said, “We need to talk about how we communicate.” I tried to explain how their actions made me feel, using “I” statements and all that jazz. “When you do this, I feel like this” kind of thing. It wasn’t a shouting match, but a calm, honest conversation. And to be fair, my spouse listened and seemed to understand, even if they didn’t completely agree.
After that, I tried to lead by example. Instead of snapping back when they were being rude, I tried to stay calm and composed. It’s like, you want them to be respectful, you gotta show them what respect looks like, right? It’s not about being a doormat, but about setting a standard.
Also, I started paying attention to when these disrespectful moments usually happened. Was it when we were both stressed? Was it about certain topics? I noticed a pattern, and it helped me anticipate those situations and try to navigate them better. It’s like being a detective in your own marriage, trying to figure out the triggers.
Finally, I realized I couldn’t change my spouse, I could only change myself. I started focusing on my own self-esteem and not letting their words get to me as much. I reminded myself of my worth and that I deserve to be treated with respect. It’s a work in progress, but I’m feeling stronger and more in control.
It’s still a journey
It’s not like everything is perfect now, but it’s definitely better. We still have our moments, but I feel like we’re more aware of how we treat each other. It’s a constant effort, but I’m committed to making this work. Marriage is tough, but I believe that with communication, patience, and a whole lot of self-reflection, we can overcome anything. Or at least, that’s what I’m hoping for. Wish me luck!
Discussion about this post