Alright, so, I’ve been dealing with this thing with my boyfriend lately, and it’s been a real head-scratcher. He’s, like, super attached to his family, and it started to mess with our relationship. I figured I’d share my experience and how I went about tackling it, ’cause maybe someone else is going through the same thing. I have been keeping track of my progress, so I can share my experience for reference.
Realizing the situation
At first, I noticed he was always talking to his mom or his sister. Like, multiple times a day. At first, it seemed sweet, you know? Family guy and all that. But then it started to get a bit much. Every decision, big or small, he had to run it by them. Realized it’s more than just being close. I wanted a romantic vacation and he had to invite his sister and brother-in-law. That’s when I decided to look for advice online and try some of the recommendations.
Starting to talk about it
So, I decided to bring it up with him. I tried to be chill about it, not make a huge deal. I told him that I love how close he is with his family, but sometimes it feels like we don’t have our own space, you know? Like, our relationship is always a group project. I used “I” statements, just like those relationship articles suggest, to make sure I wasn’t sounding like I was attacking his family or something. He listened, which was good, but I could tell he was a bit confused, like he didn’t see the problem.
Setting some boundaries
After the talk, things didn’t magically change overnight. I realized I needed to be more specific about what was bothering me. So, we started setting some boundaries. Like, we agreed on certain times where it was just us, no calls or texts with the fam. We decided to start making decisions, just the two of us, without always having to consult his family. For example, we have a date night every Wednesday. Also, I told him that when we were having a conflict it was important that we try to solve it between ourselves instead of bringing in his family to always take his side.
Finding our own groove
It wasn’t easy, and it took some time. I had to remind him a few times about the boundaries we set. But slowly, things started to shift. We started doing more things, just the two of us. Started planning our weekends without automatically including his family in everything. He still talks to them a lot, but it’s not every single decision anymore. And when there is a conflict, he tries to see my side and we try to solve it together without his family getting involved.
Keeping the conversation going
I learned that keeping the lines of communication open is super important. I keep checking in with him, asking him how he’s feeling about the changes. I also make sure to acknowledge when he makes an effort to give us our space. It’s like, reinforcing the positive, you know? We even started talking about our future, like where we want to live and stuff, and it’s just our conversation, not a family meeting.
Where we’re at now
Things are a lot better now. It’s not perfect, and we still have our moments, but it feels like we’re more of a team now. He’s still close with his family, and I’m cool with that, but it’s like, we have our own thing too. I guess the big takeaway from all of this is that relationships take work, and sometimes you gotta have those tough conversations. And boundaries are key. It’s all about finding that balance, you know? It’s important to talk things out and keep it real. And hey, if you’re going through something similar, just know you’re not alone. It’s a process, but it can get better. You might want to keep a journal or record to track your progress.
- When I first noticed his attachment, I felt a bit jealous and confused.
- During our initial talk, I felt nervous but also relieved to finally address the issue.
- Setting boundaries was challenging; I felt anxious about his reaction.
- As we started implementing boundaries, I felt hopeful but also a bit impatient.
- Seeing gradual changes, I felt a sense of accomplishment and happiness.
- Maintaining open communication, I felt more connected and secure in our relationship.
- Reflecting on our progress, I feel proud of how far we’ve come and optimistic about our future.
This has been my experience with my boyfriend being too attached to his family. Hope it helps someone out there!
Discussion about this post