Alright, let’s talk about this “over giver” thing. You know, some folks just can’t stop giving, giving, giving. Like they ain’t got nothin’ better to do. It’s like they got a hole in their bucket and they just keep pourin’ water in, but it never fills up.
What’s an Over Giver Anyways?
Well, it’s like this. You’re always doin’ stuff for other people. Always sayin’ yes, even when you’re plum tired. You’re bendin’ over backwards, makin’ sure everyone else is happy, and then you look around and you’re the one with nothin’ left. It’s like you’re spreadin’ yourself thinner than butter on hot bread, you know?
- Always sayin’ “yes” even when you mean “no.”
- Feelin’ guilty if you don’t help, even if it ain’t your problem.
- Givin’ more than you get, all the time.
- Feelin’ like you gotta earn love and approval by doin’ stuff.
Why Do Folks Do This?
Now, I ain’t no fancy doctor or nothin’, but I reckon some folks just ain’t used to getting their way. They think they gotta earn their keep, gotta prove they’re worth somethin’. Maybe they grew up with folks who always expected a lot, you know? Like if they didn’t do everything just right, they wouldn’t get no love or attention. It’s like they are always worried someone will up and leave them if they don’t keep giving. So they give and give until they are worn slap out. And you know what, sometimes those folks they give to, they just keep on takin’. Never give nothin’ back. Just take, take, take.
And then there’s them folks who just like to be in charge. They think they gotta control everything, gotta make sure everyone’s doin’ what they want. They give and give, but it ain’t really about bein’ nice, it’s about makin’ sure they’re the ones callin’ the shots. They give so much thinking that this will make other folks do what they want, and then when those folks don’t, well they get mighty upset, huffy even. They think folks should fall all over themselves thanking them and doing whatever they want just cause they gave a little something. Humph. That ain’t how the world works, not one bit.
It Ain’t Healthy, That’s for Sure
Listen, this over givin’ thing, it ain’t good for you. You run yourself ragged, and for what? Folks get used to it, that’s what. They expect you to do everything, and then they get mad when you can’t. And you know what happens then? You start feelin’ resentful. You start feelin’ like you’re gettin’ the short end of the stick. And that ain’t right. You gotta look after yourself, same as everyone else.
How to Stop This Over Givin’ Nonsense
Now, I ain’t sayin’ it’s easy, but you gotta learn to set some boundaries. You gotta learn to say “no” sometimes. And you gotta learn that it’s okay to put yourself first once in a while. It ain’t selfish, it’s self-preservation. You can’t pour from an empty cup, that’s what my daughter always says, and she’s right, even if she did learn it on the internet. You gotta fill yourself up first, then you can help other folks. It’s like on an airplane, they tell you put your own mask on first before helping the youngins, and there’s a good reason for that. If you are passed out, who’s going to help those youngins then?
Here’s a few things you can do:
- Start small. Don’t try to change everything overnight. Just pick one little thing you can say “no” to, and go from there.
- Pay attention to how you feel. If you’re feelin’ tired, resentful, or just plain worn out, that’s a sign you’re givin’ too much.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You ain’t gotta do everything yourself. Let other folks pitch in, even if they don’t do it just the way you like. Good enough is good enough sometimes.
- Learn to say “no” without feelin’ guilty. It ain’t your job to make everyone else happy. You gotta take care of yourself, too. You ain’t beholden to anyone, and they should understand if you need a minute or just plain don’t want to do something.
- Remember you are important too. Your time, your energy, your feelings, they all matter. Don’t let anyone tell you different.
It’s a Balancing Act
Look, life’s all about balancin’ things. You can’t just give and give and give without gettin’ somethin’ back. You gotta find a way to take care of yourself, same as you take care of other folks. It ain’t always easy, but it’s worth it. You’ll be happier, healthier, and you’ll have more to give in the long run. And you will be able to spot those takers and learn to keep them at arm’s length. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
So, if you’re an over giver, take a step back. Take a deep breath. And start puttin’ yourself first, just a little bit. You deserve it, you know? You really do.
Think about it this way: you only got so much to give. You spend it all on other folks, and what’s left for you? Nothin’, that’s what. So you gotta be smart about it. You gotta save some of that energy, some of that kindness, for yourself. Otherwise, you’ll end up empty and worn out, and that ain’t no good for nobody.
So go on now, start settin’ them boundaries. Start sayin’ no. Start takin’ care of yourself. You’ll be glad you did. I guarantee it.
Tags: [Overgiving, Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Care, Mental Health, Healthy Habits, Saying No, People-Pleasing, Emotional Wellbeing, Personal Growth]
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