Okay, so, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this whole “over-giving” thing. It’s like, I’m always the one going the extra mile, you know? At home, at work, with friends… it’s just what I do. But recently, I started to wonder, am I doing too much?
It all started a few weeks ago. I was at work, and as usual, I volunteered to take on an extra project. I already had a full plate, but hey, someone had to do it, right? And at home, I’m always the one cooking, cleaning, running errands. I mean, I love my family and friends, and I want to help, but it was getting to be a bit much.
Then, there’s my best friend, Sarah. She’s going through a rough patch, and I’ve been her shoulder to cry on, her late-night phone call, her errand-runner. I’m happy to be there for her, but I started to notice I was neglecting my own stuff. My apartment was a mess, I was behind on my own projects, and I hadn’t had a moment to myself in weeks.
So, I decided to do a little experiment. I started saying “no” more often. Not in a mean way, just… gently declining things that I didn’t have the time or energy for. I also started to prioritize my own needs. Simple stuff, like making sure I got enough sleep, eating healthy, and taking some time to just relax and do things I enjoy. I carved out some “me time”, even if it was just for 30 minutes a day. It might sound selfish, but it made a huge difference.
At first, it was tough. I felt guilty saying “no,” and I worried people would be upset with me. And, honestly, I felt a bit lost without my usual routine of doing everything for everyone else. I started slowly. First, I declined to bake cookies for a work thing, it takes up much of my time to do the preparation. Then I told my friend I couldn’t help with their party, but I promised I’d make it up to her later.
But you know what? The world didn’t end. People understood, and some even said they admired me for setting boundaries. I felt more in control of my time and energy. I found that by taking care of myself, I had more to give when I actually did choose to help out. And I was happier, less stressed, and more present in my own life. I still love helping others, but now I do it in a way that feels good for me, too. It’s a win-win!
- Stopped taking on extra work projects.
- Started saying no to requests that overwhelmed me.
- Prioritized my own needs like sleep and relaxation.
- Carved out “me time” each day.
- Felt more in control and less stressed.
It’s still a work in progress, of course. Old habits die hard. But I’m learning that it’s okay to put myself first sometimes. It’s not selfish; it’s self-care. And when I take care of myself, I’m actually a better friend, a better family member, and a better employee. It’s like they say, you can’t pour from an empty cup. So now, I’m working on filling my cup first.
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