Alright, so I’ve been thinking a lot about how much time my wife and I should actually be spending together. You know, it’s one of those things you don’t really talk about, but it’s super important. So, I decided to do a little experiment and see what works best for us.
First, I started tracking how much time we were spending together. I used a simple notepad to jot down our activities – dinner, watching TV, just chatting, whatever. I did this for a couple of weeks to get a baseline.
Then, I tried to implement this idea I read about, the 70/30 rule. It basically means spending 70% of your time together and 30% apart. Sounds simple enough, right? I planned out some activities, like cooking dinner together, going for walks, and having dedicated date nights. I also made sure we both had our own alone time – reading, pursuing hobbies, hanging out with friends individually.
After a few weeks of this, I noticed some changes. We were definitely communicating better and arguing less. It felt like we appreciated our time together more. But I also realized that the 70/30 thing is more of a guideline than a strict rule. Some weeks, we naturally spent more time together, and other weeks, we needed more space. It all depended on what was going on in our lives.
I also experimented with the idea of having at least two hours of quality time each week. Just the two of us, no distractions. We tried going out for dinner, watching a movie at home, or simply just talking without our phones or the TV on. I found that this dedicated time really helped us reconnect and strengthen our bond. We use it as a time to talk about our goals and dreams, both individually and together, or just vent about daily stresses.
Here’s what I found out
- Tracking our time together. It helped me to see how we were really spending our days and where we could make changes.
- The 70/30 rule. It’s a good starting point, but it’s not one-size-fits-all. I found that flexibility is key.
- Quality time is a must. Those two hours a week, or even just regular short bursts of focused time, make a huge difference. We now prioritize quality time, even if it’s just 15-20 minutes of uninterrupted conversation each day.
- Personal space is important. We both need time to ourselves to recharge and be our own person. It makes the time we spend together even better. I like to spend my alone time catching up with friends, while she prefers quiet evenings with a book.
In the end, I realized that there’s no magic number. Every couple is different. The most important thing is to be intentional about your time, communicate openly, and find what works best for your relationship. This whole process has made me more mindful of how we spend our time, and it’s definitely improved our relationship. We’ve learned to listen to each other’s needs and make adjustments accordingly. We’re both happier and more connected because of it.
This journey has been incredibly insightful. We’re still figuring things out, but the key is that we’re doing it together, as a team.
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