Well, lemme tell ya somethin’ about this here external validation childhood trauma thing. It’s a real doozy, I tell ya what. Kids, they go through somethin’ bad, somethin’ real bad, and it sticks with ’em. Sticks like gum on your shoe, you just can’t shake it off.
And you know what? Them kids, they grow up. But that bad stuff, it don’t always go away. It can mess with ya, make ya feel all sorts of outta whack. Like a chicken with its head cut off, runnin’ around not knowin’ which way is up. They need folks to tell ’em they’re alright, that they’re good enough, ya know? That’s what this validation thing is, I reckon. External validation. Like gettin’ a pat on the back or a “good job” from someone else. It’s like needin’ someone to say, “Yep, you’re doin’ okay,” all the time.
Now, I ain’t no fancy doctor or nothin’, but I seen a thing or two in my day. I seen folks all messed up from stuff that happened when they was little. Childhood trauma, they call it. And it’s a heavy load to carry, I tell ya. Like tryin’ to haul a sack of potatoes up a hill, it just wears ya down.
This here external validation, it’s like a crutch. Helps folks feel better about themselves, for a little while anyway. They do somethin’, they want someone to notice, to tell ’em they did good. It’s like they can’t see their own worth unless someone else points it out. That ain’t good, no sir. You gotta learn to see your own good, even if nobody else does.
- You gotta be strong like an old oak tree, standin’ tall even when the wind blows.
- You gotta know your own worth, like a farmer knows the value of his crops.
- And you gotta learn to heal, like a wound that slowly mends itself.
It ain’t easy, mind ya. Healin’ from that childhood trauma, it’s like tryin’ to mend a broken fence. Takes time, takes work. But it can be done, I reckon. Just gotta keep at it, one step at a time.
This whole thing about needin’ others to tell ya you’re okay, it’s like plantin’ your seeds in someone else’s garden. You ain’t gonna get a good harvest that way. You gotta plant your own seeds, tend your own garden, and grow your own self-worth. That there external validation, it’s like borrowed water. It will not last long. Your own well got to be deep enough to get you through the dry spell.
And them kids that went through somethin’ bad, they need to learn that it weren’t their fault. It’s like gettin’ caught in a storm, ain’t nobody’s fault, just bad luck. But ya gotta find your way outta that storm, find your way back to sunshine. You gotta find a way to make peace with the past, like makin’ amends with an old neighbor you had a fallin’ out with. You learn from it and move on.
It’s like this, you get a bad bruise, it hurts like the dickens. You can put a bandage on it, put some ice on it. It helps a little. But the real healin’ comes from inside. Your body, it knows how to fix itself. Same with your mind, I reckon. It knows how to heal, but it takes time. Just like a deep cut takes longer to scab over, childhood trauma takes a long time to get better.
Some folks, they find a way to talk about it. That’s good, like lettin’ the air out of a balloon. They tell folks what happened and how they are feelin’. Gets it off their chest, ya know? Others just keep it bottled up. That ain’t good. It’s like a pot of water boilin’ over, gonna make a mess eventually.
And this external validation, it can be a tricky thing. Sometimes folks are lookin’ for it in the wrong places. Like tryin’ to find a needle in a haystack, they just ain’t gonna find what they’re lookin’ for. They go lookin’ for love and acceptance from folks who just can’t give it. It’s sad, really.
- Gotta find good folks, folks who care.
- Folks who will listen, folks who will understand.
- Folks who will help ya heal, not make things worse.
It’s a long road, this healin’ journey. But it’s worth it. Like plantin’ a seed and watchin’ it grow into a beautiful flower, it’s a beautiful thing to see someone heal from the inside out. They start to see their own worth, their own strength. They don’t need that external validation so much anymore. They become strong, like that old oak tree I was talkin’ about.
So, if you know someone who’s dealin’ with this childhood trauma, be kind to ’em. Be patient. It’s like tendin’ to a sick animal, ya gotta be gentle and understandin’. Help ’em find their way, help ’em heal. It will be alright. Just like the sun comes up after a long night, there’s always hope for a brighter tomorrow. They just need to find it within themselves, not from other folks all the time. That’s the real meanin’ of gettin’ over childhood trauma, I reckon.
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